I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
