You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
