I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
