using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize