Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
