i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
