Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
