is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
