She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
