just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
