It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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