the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
