I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
