and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
