he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
