Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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