am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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