Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
