I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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