Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
