he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
