This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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