hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize