So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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