my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
