i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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