If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize