Whatcha textin bout Willis?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
