you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
