I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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