One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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