Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
