Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
