season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
