You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
