***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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