Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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