I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
