omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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