Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
