I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
