Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
