are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize