If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
