no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
