literally had 100 drinks last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
