if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
