you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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