Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
