life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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