Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
