I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
MIDGETS
????
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize