I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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