do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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