Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
