just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
