i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Houston, we have a blender
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
