hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
