was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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