oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
