just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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